Beginner’s Bond: A View To A Kill
“Beginner’s Bond” is a series of posts about my decision to finally close one of my largest blindspots in classic cinema: the James Bond franchise. I am watching all of the movies in order for the very first time, and recording my reactions here. Octopussy took 007 on a fun (if confusing) trip to India. Will 1985’s A View To A Kill provide a worthy finale for Roger Moore?
The movie opens with James Bond in Siberia, recovering a microchip from the dead body of Agent 003. And wouldn’t ya know it, some Soviet soldiers end up chasing him down a mountain on skis. To be fair, the movie does change it up a little by letting Bond lose his skis and have to improvise a snowboard. Although, it does play a Beach Boys song when he first masters the snowboard, which is just trying too hard to underline a joke that isn’t really there. The Bond movies have never relied on cute pop music needle drops, so it feels jarringly out of place here. Since this is ski chase number four in the franchise, I must concede that pursuits down snowy mountains are indeed a consistent element of the Bond mythos.
007 is sent to investigate some shady business going on at the horse track. Billionaire industrialist Max Zorin has horses that miraculously never tire and slow down, a distinct advantage in a horse race. A little intrusive snooping later, Bond discovers that Zorin is implanting his horses with devices that release adrenaline, giving the horse a significant boost on the final stretch without leaving behind anything that would show up on a drug screen. Now that I’ve written that out, it seems to me that—adrenaline or not—a horse is unlikely to run its best race after surgery on its leg. “Whatever!” A View To A Kill boldly declares, “That’s only the tip of this crazy iceberg!”
It turns out that torturing animals for money is the least of Mr. Zorin’s sins. He treats women like objects, verbally and physically abuses his employees, and murders potential business partners when they don’t accept his one-sided offer. Max Zorin delights in his own cruelty purely for the sake of it. On top of all that, it turns out he’s actually a deep cover KGB agent that’s gone off the reservation. Zorin’s got a crazy plan to blow up a fault line beneath California to trigger a massive earthquake that will fill Silicon Valley with seawater. With his primary competition drowned, Zorin will dominate the world market for microchips.
Honestly, capably delivered by Christopher Walken, the plan almost sounds crazy enough to work. He is unique among Bond villains because he genuinely seems to be enjoying himself. When Zorin looks up 007’s resume and sees “License to Kill,” he chuckles. He laughs the hardest when he drowns his workforce and guns down those that make it to shore. Another first for the series—Zorin’s bodyguard May Day (played by Grace Jones) is both a Bond girl and a superhuman henchman.
After a hilariously corny fight with an axe-wielding Max Zorin atop the Golden Gate Bridge, the age of Roger Moore finally comes to a close. With seven movies under his cummerbund, Mr. Moore is still the actor that portrayed 007 the longest. He was James Bond for several generations of young fans. Love him or hate him, that makes him an important part of the filmography. While I stand by my assessment that Roger Moore’s version is essentially a cartoon character, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Live and Let Die was a very bad movie full of very bad things, but the others, movies like Moonraker and Octopussy, are a silly good time. He may not be the most iconic Bond, but he seems to be having the most fun.
Next time on “Beginner’s Bond,” I will be introduced to Timothy Dalton’s version of the character from 1987’s The Living Daylights. Other than George Lazenby, he’s the Bond I’ve heard the least about, but I’ve enjoyed Dalton in many other movies, so I’m tentatively excited.
